Never give time travelers alcohol
by lozzie15
Summary: The Doctor,Amy,Rory and River find some space alcohol..What do they do? They drink it. Hillarious ensues if you have a sense of humour CRACK :


Never give time travelers alcohol -

Especially Time Lords

Normal POV

Amy,Rory and River stood in the Console room. The doctor came in holding various bottles of alcohol. ''Look what i found!'' He shouted. Rory frowned. ''Erm...Is that like space drink?'' He said. The Doctor grinned. ''Yep!'' He shouted. Then he took a huge swig out of the bottle. ''Erm..i dont think you should be doing that!'' Rory yelled. River laughed and grabbed a bottle of the already swaying doctor. ''Lighten up!'' She shouted. Then she took a huge swig from the bottle.

Amy and Rory looked at eachother. ''Well...How bad could it be?'' Rory said. Amy grinned.

''Thats more like it Mr Pond'' She said.

Then they both grinned at eachother and each began to swig the alcohol.

They dident notice the lable on the bottle. A previous companion had taped it on. It said:

To whoever is reading this

My name is Rose Tyler and me and my friends have just recoverd from drinking this AWFULL STUFF! If you are time travelers drining this it will numb your mind and make you do stupid stuff! PLease do not drink this alcohol.

THAT MEANS YOU!

One hour later.

The blue tardis door opened and the three VERY DRUNK Time travelers staggerd out on to the London streets. ''Letsssssss...gooo and eattttttttttt chippies!'' Rory slurred. Amy giggled and grabbed her husband. ''No! Lets go swimming in the thames!'' She yelled. Amy was clutching the other two. River Song and the Doctor. ''Letttttts gooo!'' River squealed. Then she randomly grabbed her gun and shot it into the river. ''Wheres you fez?'' River slurred. The Doctor giggled. ''I wear a stetson now..Stetsons are cwwwwwwwoooool!'' He shouted. The four of them attracted attention from passers by.

''Lets go swimming with the silence!'' Amy yelled. Then she got a pen out of her pocket. Then she drew tally's all over Rory's face. He giggled. ''Ohhhh nooooo! im being attacked by the ugly silence!'' He giggled. The Doctor laughed.

'''' Then he stopped. ''What am i laughing at?'' He said. Then he stared at Amy. ''You've got two heads!'' He giggled. Rory laughed. ''River you look like a potato!'' He shouted. Then he started poking River repeatedly chanting..

''Potato! Potato! Potatao!''

River grinned. Then she started poking Rory. ''Cabbage!'' She yelled. Rory started crying. ''I dont wanna be a cabbage!'' He wailed. Then Amy dived on to the ground. ''Down! The robot carrots are coming!'' She screamed. The four of them dived onto the pavement banging their heads. Blood trickeled down Amy's face. But she dident notice. Then she threw up all over River. ''My slick is mwoving!'' She squealed.

''Riiight!...weeeeee nneeeeed to goooo to the big river thing over there!'' The Doctor yelled. The four of them staggerd over to the river. ''Hey! Im called River! The same as that River! River yelled in joy. Rory giggled. ''And we're the Ponds!'' Rory and Amy slurred in unison. Then the four of them started giggling.

''We go swimming in the River...Then the Ponds!'' The Doctor said. Rory and Amy yelled ''Yeahhh!'' In joy.

''To the River!' Amy yelled.

''To me!'' River slurred.

The four of them eventually jumped of the bridge into the freezing cold water. It was November so the water was icy cold. ''The waters boiling!'' Rory shouted. ''Hot Hot Hot!'' Amy squealed. ''Geranimo!" The Doctor shouted. Then he dived under and resurfaced. He swam over to the others.

''You will never guess whats under there!'' He shouted.

''Whats that Jemima!'' River shouted.

''Narnia!'' The Doctor slurred. ''Yayyyyyyyyyyyyy!'' They all shouted. Then they dived under and resurfaced. ''I met the lion!'' Amy shouted. Rory giggled. ''I met mr tumnus!"'' He shouted.

Suddenly a dalek appeared out of nowhere. ''Tellytubby!'' The four of them shouted in unison. ''Exterminate!'' the dalek shouted. ''Ohhhhhhhhhh!'' Rory slurred. Then he got out of the water and ran towards the dalek.

He grabbed a stick and hit the dalek in its only eye. ''Tinky Winky!'' Amy sang following her husband.

One hour later:

After being kicked out of pratically the whole of London the Tardis gang attempted to get back to the Tardis. ''We're all going on a summer holiday!'' Amy sang. The Doctor giggled and took another swig of alcohol. They got to a normal telephone box and stood outside giggling.

''This is the Tardis!'' The Doctor shouted. A man passing by stopped and stared. ''Have you had a lot to drink?'' He said in a strong american accent. The Doctor giggled and Rory and Amy started dancing. ''Yeahhhh!'' River said. The man smiled. ''Right...Well thats not the Tardis thats a telephone box'' He said.

Then the man walked over to a girl with black hair. ''Is that him Jack?'' The girl said. Captain Jack Harkness grinned. ''Yup'' He smiled. ''Rose is not gonna be happy they drank the alco fizz...you remeber the note?...They obviously dident read it'' The girl laughed. Then they both walked off laughing.

''Right! In we go!'' The doctor slurred. Then he walked into the telephone box's glass. ''The Tardis isent opening!'' Rory wailed. Amy laughed. ''Okay...There's gotta be some way to get in!'' She slurred. Then she grabbed River's gun and started shooting at the phone box splitering its glass.

''What the hell are you doing?'' A woman shouted. Amy grinned. ''Oh no! Evil people!...'' Then she started shooting at the woman. Fortunatly the woman ran off without getting hurt.

The Doctor smiled.

''Lets go for a walk'' He said.

''Yeahhh!" His companions yelled.

The following day:

Rory Williams had the worst headache ever. He felt sick and his body ached like it had been ran over by a steam roller. He was also soaking wet. He sat up blinking trying to take in his surroundings. Amy was sat up next to him moaning. ''Oww my head'' She said. ''What the hell did we do last night?'' Rory mutterd. River and the Doctor walked into the Console room groaning. ''You wont believe the amount of times ive thrown up'' The Doctor said. Then he moaned in pain. ''I dident even know i could throw up!'' Rory noticed his tshirt was coverd in vomit,Mud,grass, and a splatter of blood.

The Doctor gagged and ran out of the room. Then he came back wiping his mouth and holding a portable television.

''Watch'' He orderd the others.

A news broadcast was on.

''Reporters say that last night four maniacs terrorised London including shooting and missing innocent people and jumping of bridges!''

''That explains the headache'' Rory and Amy mutterd.

''Here is a small film following the four maniacs througout the night...Some viewers may find the footage upsetting''

The four time travelers watched the film in horror. They watched themselves searching for 'Narnia'' In the thames,Giggling for no reason,Amy shooting and missing random people,Rory eating an alive fish singing the little mermaid theme tune,River and the Doctor singing loudly ''Merry christmas'' Outside ten downing street,Riding down the street in bins,The four of them skipping down the street singing the wizards of Oz theme tune,Amy and Rory dancing and singing ''Party Rock'' outside a chuch,The four of them screaming ''the pepperpots are coming!'' Running down the streets of London,Rory doing a VERY Bad impression of a cyberman,Amy marrying a stick,River trying to eat the doctors hand, Rory eating a cupfull of worms while the others shouted ''Worms! Worms! Worms!'',Amy eating a brick,Rory spinning round on a kiddie rounabout,River trying to ''Fly'' Of a block of flats,Amy attempting to climb a bus stop,Rory harrasing ''Barack Obama'' (Random man),the four of them pretending to be farm animals in a church. And Amy having a very heated argumet with a letter box. the four of them were coverd head to toe in tally marks.

The news reporter was trying to keep a straight face. ''The video can also be watched on the website. We will be back at six with all your latest news from around the Country''

When the news report had finished the four time travelers were staring in horror.

''I ate a live fish!'' Rory shouted in horror.

''Thats what the bite marks on my arm are from!'' The Doctor yelled at River.

''I chewed a brick!'' Amy moaned.

Three hours later:

Amy had been to the dentist. She was moaning in pain. ''Aww it couldent of been that bad'' Rory said hugging his wife.

River came in holding her stomach.

''Doctor...I think im pregnant'' She said.

''Or not'' Rory mutterd.

THE END!

Pure crack lol just got bored...

Fell free to criticse :)


End file.
